Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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