If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
