And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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