The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
