Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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