You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
