I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
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