i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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