standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Are we still banned from the library?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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