So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
