D3 body, D1 cock
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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