going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
