tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
