Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
