i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
