my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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