Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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