You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We don't watch enough power rangers
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
