I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
