I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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