i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I will be naked everywhere
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
tell me about the fingering
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
