This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
