Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
