Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
