Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
