8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize