So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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