She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize