She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
