i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
