He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize