Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
