I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Don't make out with my wife yet
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
