I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
