And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
