i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
