yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize