I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
