woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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