Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
