good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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