Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm passing your future prison.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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