I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
pray to the hookup gods
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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