The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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