Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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