This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
