Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
