Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
