i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
