I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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