Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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