I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
