I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
