I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
