I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
