How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
What did we do last night that was yellow?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Come see our sink grown plant.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
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