Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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