Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
