She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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