what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
