My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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