We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
