did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
