wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
tell me about the fingering
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize