last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
